While in class, my yoga instructor said something that got me thinking. She claimed that “every decision that we make in our lives is either out of love or out of fear.” What she said really resonated with me. It was something I had known for a very long time, but was never able to articulate.
Making decisions out of love and not out of fear has become my default MO (modus operandi).
I want to give you a few examples that will show you how powerful it is to make decisions out of love and not out of fear.
A good example of this success is in sales. You will close many more sales if you act out of love and not fear. If the thoughts in your head are that you know your product is a great fit for the customers you are talking to and you want to help them solve their problems, it will be much easier to close the deal.
In contrast, when your actions are done out of fear and you are thinking that you have to close this deal in order to reach your quota, you will come off as less genuine and will probably have a lower success rate. If you radiate love and concerns for your customer’s best interests, they will feel it and react positively.
I recently sat next to a financial advisor on a flight and we talked about the power of love and fear and he told me that when he started out he was mainly focussing on the commissions he was going to make for xyz products and he was ultimately not successful in selling anything. Once he switched to focusing only on what is good for the client his business he started to thrive.
I asked my assistant to send out a weekly company wide newsletter every Monday at 4pm. Her task was to gather the news from every department and compile it.Every time she handed me the draft I had to correct and change many things, which ended up taking way too much of my time.
I sat down with her and explained her that she is doing this task out of fear and not out of love. She looked at me pretty puzzled and I explained further.
If she would do this task out of love and would put in the effort to understand everything that each department did – despite the fact that she is not very technical – then she could compile the newsletter in a way that everybody that received it will get the maximum value of it.
After our talk I did not have to do any more edits and now I do not even check before the newsletter is sent.
As I have mentioned before, I am a recovering Introvert so speaking in front of a crowd fills me with fear.
If I let the fear control me I am lead by thoughts like, “I will forget parts of what I wanted to say”, “I bet I will not find the perfect word to explain what I want to say in English” and “Will people understand me clearly even though I have an accent”?
Once in this mindset it is really hard to give a good presentation, because the fear tends to consume my thoughts.
However, if I focus on love and my prominent thought is, “This information that I am going to share will be very useful for this group of people”, then I am able to provide a quality presentation.
This concept is also highly applicable in personal relationships. My wife Yurda frequently asks me to improve things in the house or garden. My wife is a perfectionist and has an amazing taste when it comes to interior design.
If I am being honest with myself and you, I absolutely hate doing this type of work – I even get more enjoyment out of doing my taxes. This probably fueled by the conflict my wife and I have had over this in the past.
Previously when she asked me to do certain things around the house I always did it out of fear – my motivation was to avoid conflict with her. The process of doing the task was always less than enjoyable and the results were always sub-par.
Now that I am aware of this pattern I start out of fear but then switch to love. I do it out of love with the intention to make my wife happy and to make my house nicer. All of a sudden I enjoy the process and the result is much better and most of the time lives up to the high standards of my wife 🙂
Check yourself. Fear is a very powerful emotion and you can use it to fuel your drive. As soon as you can, however, flip it to love. By doing so, every aspect in your life will be much more enjoyable and productive.
“Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life.” – Confucius